Afraid of Myself

Have you ever felt that you were so afraid of yourself? A darkness plaguing one's mind can be a heavy burden. The angry, he hungry to see blood. If not then this may come off as insane, completely batshit crazy. I assure you I'm not mad. There has just been pain in my life and hatred. Hatred of those who harmed me, causing the anger to boil up to a point in which I can not control. The darkness, the sweet darkness I crave. What the future holds scares me, being forced to do something hard, scares me. My mind sometimes won't leave me alone. I crave the site of blood, I need it. It's beautiful red, dripping, running.

There is nothing wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with this. If anyone thinks this is uncommon then they are wrong. They haven't felt the tugging anguish, the shame of not being as capable as others. Even if this shame has no real reason to be there.

What I fear most is the part of my mind that would enjoy the killing of others, to see there blood upon my hands. The trembling of my body and laughter, oh the horrible laughter, from the joy of it all. Am I to fall so far? Am I that bad? Why must these thoughts plague my mind? Where is my salvation?